No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
