i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
