All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
