did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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