Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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