It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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