after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
