how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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