Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
