Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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