Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
