Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
