In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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