you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
