Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
