break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
