i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
