Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Just cropdusted the office
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
