So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
