My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
