Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize