Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
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