O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
