If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
