i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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