You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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