I look better un-naked...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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