i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
