It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
