you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
