Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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