You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
