Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
