now i know why i became what i already was.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
