My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
this hospital has no fireball
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
