according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
