It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
