I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
