the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
