it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize