The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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