Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
