Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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