i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
