and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I want to be your penis for a week.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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