he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
