is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
How does one acquire holy water?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
