New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
