We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
only you would photoshop your dick
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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