soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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