I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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