is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize