R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
