Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
