WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
