You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
